


Adam's Verse.

by SailoLee



Series: Kinktober 2018 [2]
Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Angst, Biting, Canonical Character Death, Dacryphilia, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Light Masochism, Light Sadism, M/M, Marathon Sex, Religion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 12:18:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16264064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailoLee/pseuds/SailoLee
Summary: Tabris wants to be Shinji's God.





	Adam's Verse.

**Author's Note:**

> Another Kinktober! Though tbh this one is not really as explicit. Neon Genesis is my ABSOLUTE favorite anime. So when this started, it somehow became something of a study of the show. But you know what? I'm super fucking proud of this. So enjoy!

Tabris had lived many lives over. He always had the two names no matter the number of “restarts” granted to humanity: his original name Tabris and his human name Kaworu Nagisa. There were some times where he was only Tabris and never evolves to the Kaworu Nagisa stage of life, a varying amount of factors determined when these moments came to past. He was never just Kaworu Nagisa though, despite times where it’s his most fervent wish to be that which he was fascinated by. And humans were truly remarkable beings. Their capacity for emotion, specifically love, was astounding. Their ability to completely destroy themselves every single time without fail was also intriguing though at times he felt a bit guilty thinking that way if he were honest. Through the best and worst humanity had to offer he wanted to be there to witness it no matter in what form.

And no human held his interest more than the one currently lying under him. Shinji Ikari, always Shinji. Always so young, so small and skinny. Always so horribly sad. he too had lived many lives with two names. Always destined to be Adam, then Shinji Ikari, then Adam once more, essentially being his own son and descendant in one many millenia apart in age. Eve would vary from time to time, typically the Second Child Asuka Langley Soryu. Though rarely (very, _very_ rarely) it was the First Child Rei Ayanami or another female in Shinji’s life. But Adam was a constant, never changing variable, always the same soul. And oh how Tabris hated watching Shinji with every Eve, helping the world start anew.

So this time, for the first time, Tabris had decided to...indulge in his human want of Shinji.

Trapped under him, Kaworu brought Shinji to his limits over and over. Shinji was very susceptible to his touches and desires. Perhaps if this had been the first, second, tenth, hundredth time they had met he would have been less inclined to accept his advances since they had only met yesterday strictly speaking. But Shinji remembered, all of their lives, their previous meetings and feelings were right there so he held no compunctions since he _knew_ Kaworu. Not on a subconscious level of course, but DNA is a funny thing. Memories and feelings could be passed down through generations in a single strand of DNA and since Shinji’s DNA consisted of mostly the same experiences with minimum deviation, somewhere deep in his DNA Kaworu and Tabris have been engraved into his very being. It pleased Kaworu intensely to realise this the first time, the idea that he was so influential in shinji’s life that he was literally a part of him for the rest of time. It did have the unfortunate side effect of Shinji being sad and incredibly furious with him without knowing why, but it was easily override by the feelings of _want_ and _need_ for the comfort and love Kaworu brings him even if horror immediately follows with his untimely death at his own hands.

Shinji was amazing for him, so receptive and beautiful, face and body flushed a gorgeous red. He was so undeniably touch starved that everything Kaworu did to bring him pleasure was met with overstimulation and tears. Kaworu felt a thrill of guilt and insane pleasure at the sight of those tears, a burning need to see more caused by his own hand. He was possessed, completely gone in Shinji’s pleasure and experiencing something he had never had the chance to explore before. He took Shinji’s virginity, a vicious amount of pride in him that he was stealing something that had always been saved for the eventual Eve but this time it was _his_ and only his. He was the only who could give this to Shinji, the only one who could provide what he needed. The other Eve’s would never know how Shinji enjoyed some pain, Kaworu’s fingers deftly pinching the sensitive skin on the tender inner thigh, yanking on a nipple until Shinji was sobbing and begging for more.

No Eve would dare to bite at Shinji’s neck, arm, chest, anywhere he could reach and drawing blood in some places before sucking the area and leaving large red marks. He took particular pleasure in a large red hickey on Shinji’s neck that would be near impossible to cover up. An Eve couldn’t enter Shinji’s body with their own sex since they lacked it, couldn't pull Shinji into their lap and have him ride them while crying out loudly. It was a good thing they were home alone because Shinji surely would have attempted to be quieter and Kaworu couldn’t have that. An Eve couldn’t take advantage of Shinji’s flexibility to place him in any pleasurable position he desired. And no Eve would have Shinji chanting their name like a literal _prayer_ as the sun rose in their window, covering a sweaty, exhausted Shinji in a cascade of gold and making him impossibly more beautiful. To have Shinji look at them as if they were his world. His **God.** Kaworu would love that, to be the one Shinji gave his prayers, hopes and dreams to. For Shinji to worship him as most humans worshipped a deity of their own. It was the greatest sin he could hope for, but oh how Kaworu _wanted it._

Lying him down, Kaworu pet Shinji’s head, the boy’s heartbeat as he continued to whisper Kaworu’s name. He continued leaving small bites and hickeys every, almost determined to cover every single inch of Shinji’s body in them. They were both covered in all sorts of fluids and soon Kaworu would get up and get something to clean them, but he wanted to be here until Shinji fell asleep. He kissed him, slow and sweet but with passion, drawing more gasps and moans from between the slide of their tongues, hands gripping and bodies sliding together despite their exhaustion. Finally, Shinji slipped under into a deep sleep and Kaworu started to pull away to get a rag. He got to his knees before something jolted him to a stop, shock over his face. A whisper of his name mumbled between thin lips in sleep. His true name, his _Angel_ name. It got Tabris so riled up instantly, but not wanting to wake Shinji again (poor boy would need sleep for tonight when everything inevitably falls apart) he used his own hand to finish on Shinji’s bare body silently, and once on his face, Shinji's tongue instinctively darting out to lap up some of his essence that fell on his mouth.

While getting the rag, Tabris thought to himself about this occurrence. He had changed something, drastically changed it, and he knew that God would be… _displeased_ with his all too human selfishness. Adam was meant to give his virginity to Eve, for both of them to be completely pure when they started the human race. And yet he had taken that, and now he had no idea of what the consequences would possibly be. However, he couldn’t regret this, he refused to. No one could ever hope to know Shinji the way he did, love him as thoroughly as he could. So although he would be deftly punished Tabris didn’t care. His love for Shinji would always trump everything.

~~~

It was over. The sky was black, the ocean red and the world destroyed. There was nothing and no one left except him and unfortunately one other. Asuka was Eve once more, and like normal she was spitting rage and hate at him. The vitriol directed at him stemmed from a place she couldn’t understand, couldn’t fully remember, But Shinji remembered.

Shinji remembered all of it.

Maybe it was due to what he had done with Kaworu (Tabris, his true name was Tabris, such a beautiful name) or maybe they had just done the same thing over and over and over and over until he was bound to remember eventually. All the other times he had been here as Adam with and Eve and lately each time was met with a bone deep feeling of enough. _Enough_ already, it was enough. Why must they continue to suffer the same fate? Why did he stay Adam while Eve would sometimes change? He didn’t care anymore. He simply leaned his head back and breathed deeply, memories of gentle, warm hands keeping his sanity in check. Eve had moved closer now, getting angrier and louder with tears running down her face. Enough. _Enough_

**E**

**N**

**O**

**U**

**G**

****H.** **

****

****

Shinji stood suddenly from his place on the shore, and perhaps Eve could sense his intentions. For even though her body language was still tight with anger her eyes read the same feeling as him. Enough. Only they could end this.

So he did.

It’s a strange experience, choking someone to death. Eve’s skin was supple, thin and he could feel the bones cracking under his hands. She clawed at him, a normal human response to death, trying to prevent it but her eyes said otherwise. Because they remembered and neither of them wanted to do it again. To violate their bodies at the whim of an invisible deity, a God who inexplicably put them through this an insurmountable amount of times. Adam and Eve? No. There would be no more. And perhaps, Shinji thinks as he leaves the lifeless body of a girl who knew too many times to count, perhaps he was never Adam. And above, in a place invisible to the eye for all except others like him, Tabris came to a realization. An epiphany. There had never been an Adam or Eve. They lived the same lives as penance for long forgotten but deeply engraved sins. Not sins as Adam and Eve.

Rather, the sins of Lucifer and Lilith.

~~~

Surprisingly, Shinji didn't die. He fully expected for God to strike him down after his murder of Asuka, had accepted it even. And yes, the sky had screamed and the ground had shook violently,but nothing else had been forthcoming. So he walked. And walked. And walked. And walked. The weather stayed amiable the entire time Shinji was on his aimless journey, and he never hungered or needed sleep. He supposed that perhaps he was now something not quite human. Or maybe God just didn’t care anymore. His experiment was over, without an Eve he couldn’t start again. So he left Shinji alone on his destroyed planet, abandoned by all that had created it. Driven by whispers of past lives and a remembrance of white hair and red eyes Shinji was driven to explore the humans he had a large hand in creating. He visited libraries that miraculously still stood, many structures surprisingly stable even after the impact. He read many subjects, taught himself other languages that no one would speak again, subjects no one would research any more.

Teaching himself to paint he left portraits of another life scattered everywhere he went, normally of Tabris in many forms. It was quiet. It was lonely. And it was perfect for him.

~~~

Many years passed this way with Shiji growing older, frailer. At times the yawning ache he had in his chest for human companionship that was imbedded in his DNA nearly overwhelmed him, times in which he considered ending his life. Every time these fleeting thoughts came to him however, a boy with such love and fascination would remind him of his new purpose. He wasn’t done. There was more to learn for him.

Eventually though, he grew too old and weak to walk further. Shinji didn’t know where he would go after his passing. Even through all his studies he couldn’t be certain of a Heaven or Hell, and afterlife of any kind but it mattered not. The only thing Shinji hoped for, desperately, fervently, was to return to Tabris welcoming embrace. As he lay on the shore he had left that fateful day after killing Asuka, he gazed around in wonder. Asuka was still there, body as pristine as the day she died, never changing, decomposition never setting in, so he arranged her into a more dignified position on her back, arms over her stomach rather than the splayed way she had fallen into in death. The sea was still red, the sky still black. And yet he could see the beauty in it all now. For this was the world he had created and destroyed many times over. And now, like him, it could finally be at peace. His eyes closed for the first time in a very long time.

And he slept.

In his eternal sleep Shinji was greeted by someone he never imagined meeting again. Tabris, looking like his human self once more, was there and he was smiling. He was overjoyed to see him, just as much if not more than Shinji. The boy cried the tears Kaworu had loved and entered his embrace once more. And as they gazed at each other, Shinji whispered with all the love he could muster, “I have so much to teach you about humanity.”


End file.
